Basics of Loving Discipline for Children
(Courtesy of "Basics of Loving Discipline for Children: "A Parent's Handbook" Channing L. Bete Publishing Company: 2008.)
Discipline is more than just reacting to misbehavior; it includes everything you do to teach your child appropriate behavior, including:
- Helping your child stay safe, and teaching him how to protect himself.
- Teaching your child right from wrong.
- Identifying the causes of misbehavior
Avoiding shaming your child - focus on the behavior, not the child.
Helping your child feel loved and secure by providing routines and being consistent in how you act with your child.
Being a role model for your child.
Helping your child develop important values and qualities such as self-control, confidence, self-respect and respect for others ,and responsibility.
Keep a loving relationship
- Give your time and attention; play together.
- Give your child chances to express thoughts and feelings, and talk about your own.
- Let your child see that you are actively listening.
Use praise to encourage good behavior
- Praise specific good behaviors.
- Give praise when your child stops or admits to inappropriate behavior.
Set fair expectations and limits
- Make sure expectations and limits are clear to your child, and right for his age and ability.
- Slowly give more choices, freedom, and responsibility as your child grows up.
- Pick your battles. Stick to important matters, such as safety and good manners.
- Expect not to be liked at times.
- Be sure that other caregivers and family members know - and follow - the expectations and limits.
Teach your child better ways to act
- Distract your child from unsafe activities.
- Teach your child what he can do, not just what he should not do.
- Help your child solve conflicts.
Use fair consequences for inappropriate behavior
- Respond right away, but always remember to think before you act.
- Fit the consequence to the action. Avoid the consequences that are too harsh.
- Be consistent. Always follow through if you say a behavior will have a certain consequence.
Use methods that fit your child
- Keep your child's age in mind. Discipline needs to change as your child grows up.
- Consider your child's personality. Limits that are fair for one child may be too hard for another to follow.